MALAPROPISMS
I get off at 10. (I finish work at 10.)
I get off at 10. (I achieve sexual satisfaction at 10.)
I get off at 10. (I leave the train at 10.)
“I’ll just get the groundsman to make us some coffee.”
“He went off to join the gorilla fighters in the mountains.”
NAMES
General Public
General Strike General Hospital
Gymnast
Jim Nast
ODDS
Guaranteed used,
I don’t care if it’s new.
Gusting,
windy weather.
Disgusting,
ceased windy weather.
Glottal,
Essex girl’s favourite stop. Soon to be added to
the District Line of the London Underground. Now
often referred to as Estuary English, from the
Thames Estuary, Essex.
GLAMS,
greying leisured affluent middle-aged spenders.
These GLAMS are often attempting to recapture their
lost youth. In reality they are attempting, in
their latter years, to revitalise themselves rather
than trying to find and contain a mislaid youngster
A giant flea market is not always a market for giant fleas.
Gloucester,
(pron) Gloster.
Getting on,
getting aboard, not getting a board – or even getting a bawd.
Getting on,
advancing age or time.
Getting on,
improving one’s self.
Grippe,
a hold-all.
SPOONERISMS
Dr Spooner is said to have wandered around Greenwich looking for the
Dull Man pub. He should have been in Dulwich looking for the Green
Man pub.
GEOGRAPHICAL DESCRIPTIVE TITLES
Bath.
Baton Rouge.
Colorado.
Maida Vale, (made of ale.)
Newcastle.
Sierra Leone.
Sierra Madre.
MODERN (MIS) USAGE
There you go!
Where?
What was the name?
The same as it is now.
Who wants him?
I do.
He’s tied up, I’m afraid!
Don’t be afraid, untie the knots.
At the end of the day.
Night.
At this moment in time.
That moment.
It’s an on-going situation.
You haven’t finished yet.
We’d value your input.
I’ve paid you enough.
It’s a game of two halves.
That’s not entirely true.
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