MALAPROPISMS
Indian tribesmen dance round the factotum pole.
He had to use a fire distinguisher (extinguisher).
Dad says it's just a pigment of my imagination (figment).
NAMES
Frank Incense (Perfumery).
Frank N. Stein.
Frank O Phile (loves French).
Frank Furter (a butcher).
ODDS
Fester,
quicker.
FIAT,
Fabbrica Italiana Automobile Torino, a
description rather than a name or title.
If one accepts that tough and rough are pronounced tuff and ruff,
then gh should = f. The same argument applies to women, where the "o"
is pronounced "i", wimen, thus o should = i. Similarly in nation, ti
should = sh. Using this pronunciation fish could be spelled ghoti.
SPOONERISMS
Dr. Spooner was a somewhat eccentric master at a famous public school
in the Victorian era, constantly reversing the inital letters of
early and subsequent words in a sentance.
Fits and starts, became tits and farts.
He was rusticated for fighting a liar in the quad, should have
been...........lighting a fire..........
And a new vacuum cleaner sucks without fail while a lecherous,
retired admiral...without sail.
Fighting a liar,
lighting a fire.
With a quait and inexplicable twist someone who knows nothing about a
subject is considered to know “Fuck all” about it. A foreign film
director, working in England in the ‘50s is, in a moment of anger,
reputed to have shouted at his cast that he didn’t know “fuck all”
but did know “fuck everything” about film making!
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