MALAPROPISMS
Arrangement of epithets, a derangement of epitaphs.
Abode,
adobe.
Abbess,
abcess.
Acme,
acne.
Acetic,
aesthetic.
Amnesty,
amnesia.
Acropolis,
Athenean Temple.
Apocalypse,
total destruction (modern interpretation).
Aspiration,
to aim, to hope, ambition.
Aspirating,
breathing.
Her main aspiration was to continue aspirating.
MY MOST FORGETTABLE NAMES
Adeline Moore,
author's editor's instruction.
Arthur Ritis,
rheumatologist.
Aunt Artica,
frosty relative.
Aunty Lope,
antelope.
Aunty aircraft, aunty tank and aunti disestablishmentarialist, and many, many others.
ODDS
Why does ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ = Christmas?
Answer: Noel, (no L.)
AB CD goldfish
M's no goldfish
S D R
No D not
M's trout
Abe see the goldfish.
Them`s no goldfish. Yes they are.
No they're not.
Them`s trout.
Abacus,
a counting frame, nothing to do with backs.
Affront,
insult, nothing to do with fronts.
Archeologist,
a type of investigator.
R K Ologist,
investigator of one of Hollywood's studios and its productions.
He was an archeologist of the RKO film studios, hence a R K Ologist.
Artery,
the study of fine art.
Awful lot of money, why is it awful?
Probably because one is in awe, impressed with the size.
Mr Simpson said, when faced with the on-screen computer command to "press
any key" queried, which was the "any" key.
Why is the plural of aircraft singular and not aircrafts? (Uncountable noun)
Sheep and not sheeps?
Advert seen: Antiques, old or modern, wanted!
Archery - The study of fine arches.
Archery - Chicanery perpetrated by Jeffrey, sometime author and Peer of the Realm.
AMERICANISMS:
USA:
GB:
Vests
waistcoats
Suspenders
braces
Garter belt
suspenders
Dame
woman
Lift
shoe horn
Elevator
lift
Hitch hikers in England used to take lifts, do the Americans call these
elevators, or is it thumbing a ride?
Floor levels in British buildings start with G, ground; but 1, first, in
American buildings. With this in mind it is as well to be certain from which
floor you take the lift (elevator).
Momentarily in the US is used for "at once" Mr. Smith will be with you
momentarily. Mr. Smith will be with you very soon - in a moment.
Not that Mr. Smith will appear before you and then disappear in a moment.
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